Jarkko Lehmus Diary

Confessions Of An Alleycat

The sun is out, the freaks have crawled out of the woodwork and the summer holiday is looming only a month ahead. Me and Diana, aka the Fire-And-Forget-Team, have twenty-odd minutes of material in the bag ready to be tweaked and refined when Ashley's got some time. After such a hectic start for the year it's nice to roll along at a more moderate pace. As far as I've understood the rest of the company's been pretty hard at it what with Pat Neary breathing fire and brimstone down their necks to get Balanchine's Apollo finished and Episodes started in the space of a week. The distant sounds of the whip echo from time to time from the studio theatre's dungeons all the way up the corridors to our sunny hideout in studio one. Poor tortured souls. All for the sake of three shows. At least there should be packed houses; it's The Festival after all. We contemporary recluses on the other hand have ten shows penciled in at the Dance Base. I don't have any idea who else is on the bill with us or even what the title of the evening is. Dance Base's studio theatre is a lovely little venue seating about 70 regular pair of buttocks so it should be a pretty intimate affair and a nice departure from the usual big stages. In a way a bit of a blast from the past. It's almost feeling like being a freelancer all over again.

The designs for Cinderella are set and Ashley's starting work in the studio with the principal couples first off the blocks. I need to get hold of the original Grimm Brothers tale and read it through a few times for character research. All I can remember from my childhood are the chopped off toes and heels and the blood gushing out of the glass shoe. I've been earmarked for the role of Cinderella's father. "Don't you know you've got your daddy's eyes? Daddy was an alcoholic..." A hint of type casting? More character research to follow...

The details for the future tours are sketchy to say the least and what little information drips through to my ears keeps changing constantly. I've just read a little article, in the Scotsman I think, about the company being invited to a bunch of european dance festival in 2006 and to China in 2007 and there has been persistent talks of touring south of the border as well. It's a good sign to be sure, but, as always, what actually happens remains yet to be seen. Once I see some black on white I'll give you guys a shout. I also had a brief chat about the company going to the Dance and Music Festival in Kuopio, Finland, a town I called home for two years in my shady youth. Plenty of memories there... How financially viable is it to bring such a big company all the way there when the biggest venue only seats some 400? It would be nice to go home for s couple of days though. My family has been talking about coming here for the past couple of years. They haven't seen me dance for four years. It's been almost a year since I've been back to my roots and it'll be at least another year or so before I have half a chance to roam the forests of Finland again. My choice though. Instead of home I've spent my holidays hopping over the Atlantic to New York. I was there again last weekend feeling like Patrick Swayze in his prime having the time of my life.

On the top of the world. Photo by me.©

My life has been blessed with great opportunities and beautiful people who have trusted me and believed in me. Many a time I have been arrogant enough to take it for granted and not appreciated or fully understood what I was offered and given. There are things in my past that hurt me and there were times I hurt others. I can't regret any of it, I can only learn from it and extend my public apology to those I did wrong. To those who have believed in me I can only offer my promise to become the man that you've seen in me. I might do it in my own crooked way through the bars and the gutters, through sweat and blood, but I promise not to fool you, me or anyone else that comes my way. If in the process I occasionally wake up in a dumpster with an empty wallet, a headache and a story to tell you can be sure to read about it here.

Posted by Jarkko at May 15, 2005 01:05 AM