Ballet Central Diary

And we're off!!!

Having just read the entries recently posted by the two lovely girls with whom I share this internet adventure it struck me just how differently we are all approaching this. Rym will delve deep into her soul to find some inner belief and meaning to this Ballet Central rolleroaster. She will then articulate these wonderful emotions, via a keyboard, onto the world wide web almost poetically. Similarly Brenda will also delve into her inner self but rather than writing poetically... she will actually write a poem. So i thought i would begin by stating that if you are expecting to read a memoir depicting my very reasons for living, or indeed a poem, you are certainly reading the wrong weblog, that though is what makes our little weblog tripod so interesting.

I will start then with opening night, not quite the reason our mothers gave birth to us but certainly the closest it has come so far this year. It actually went very well and the Boss was pretty pleased. I was given relatively good feedback and the 2nd and 1st years, having watched the previous night, had boosted me up a bit with their comments about Cinderella pas de deux.

As a celebration for how well the first show had gone, although i'm not going to lie we would have done it anyway, we all decided to have a fancy dress party. However this was no normal fancy dress party. In honour of Rachel (lovely Ballet Central member)having been alive for 19 years everyone had to dress up as something beginning with the letter R. I went as the Rat Pack, not all three of them because that would have looked silly, but just Frank. Some of the more creative people were Dan who was a Roman but who liked to tell everyone he was a Roman God, James in 2nd year who was the spitting image of the scary girl from 'The Ring' and Ruan who was simply 'Rude' (his 10 pound pants with certain anatomical parts attached to them went down a treat). It was all certainly a laugh although it is important to mention that there was absolutely no alcohol, it finished at 10 on the dot and boys and girls were segregated throughout (many thanks to Beth who spent all her time devoted to enforcing all of those rules dressed rather fittingly as a Royal Marine).

When we first heard the repertoire we would be getting for our tour there was certainly much excitement with the massive names that we would be working with. For me personally there was none more so than Matthew Bourne and a couple of days after opening night we finally started learning the big gold ring dance from his 'Swan Lake' (for those of you who are not regulars on the Ballet Central weblog that is the dance of the Cygnets). Scott Ambler (Assistant Director at New Adventures), with a quik cameo from Matthew, came into school for a 6 hours over three days to get us going and i can safely say on behalf of all of the lads it was fantastic. It has been a dream for a few of us to get to dance Bourne's Swan Lake and Scott was great, having a laugh and joke but getting things done very quickly, we had pretty much learned the whole dance in the first two hours. We are not quite sure when that will go on stage but i would guess probably Chelmsford which is the show after next... cant wait.

Perhaps the most exciting thing that has happened to me since i last wrote my entry was the Crawley performance. I am from Brighton and, Crawley being the furthest south we go, all of my friends and faily came. A total of 100 people turned up to see me which was incredible considering the auditorium held 800. I was also really chuffed because I was dancing my two favourite pieces on the tour, 'Cinderella' and the Jazz number 'Do you want to...?'. I start Cinderella with a long, slow walk from the wings and i don't think time has ever gone so slowly, however once i knelt down beside Brenda that was it, the rest is a blur, all i can remember thinking is 's*** i haven't breathed for at least 10 seconds, breathe man breathe' as i was lifting Brenda in the presage at the end. I was really pleased with how it went considering i was probably the most nervous i had ever been and the completely unbiased audience for some stange reason gave the two pieces a humungous applause, cheers mum!

That is all the writing i can do for now, a jog and some stretching is certainly needed although it will undoubtably have to follow an easter egg and a quick kick around with a mate considering i have only one day break until the end of July. Its all fun and games!

speak soon

Tom

Fire, Brimstone and other happenings on tour...

I will apologise in advance for the solemn tone (and length!) of this diary entry. Today, life is looking a little bleaker that it did a few weeks ago.
It all began at Ilford on Tuesday 11th March, the day of the dress rehearsal for staff and first and second year students. It went well, we were nervous because we knew that this was one of the most critical audiences we would ever face, but it went well and we were in a good place to then take it up several notches for the first show the following night.
Earlier that morning, while walking to the theatre, I tripped over another dancer’s suitcase and fell over in the road. It was very amusing to everyone present, but began to be less amusing for me personally when I realised the pain I was in- as I fell, I smacked my kneecaps on the concrete. By Wednesday (which had to be the most important show of my life so far!!!) my right knee was quite swollen and sore, but by keeping it moving and warm, I kept it feeling ok to perform.
And it went really well! My mum was there, so I was glad to know there was someone rooting for me in the audience. Ashley Page was also there with Patricia Hines, who set Waltz on us, and they both seemed really pleased with the way it looked and all the work we have done on it.
By the time we came to do the get out though, the wonderful effects of adrenaline had worn off and I was limping around like Long John Silver. The next day I hobbled into school and saw our physiotherapist, Anna. She told me the shock from the fall had made the bursar under my knee swell up and it was irritating all the cartilage and general stuff I don’t know the names of around my knee.
I was off class for three days. Which I was raging about at the time; but now realise how lucky I was in comparison to what was to come…….
Monday morning, I came back to class, all bright and fresh, enjoying every hitherto forbidden movement of my body and ready to really go for everything. My knee felt much better, not completely one hundred percent, but certainly well enough to perform.
We had to meet at school on Wednesday morning at the crack of dawn to catch to coach to Crawley. After doing the get in, and taking class on stage, we had a full run through of the show, to get used to the new space. In the final movement of Capriol Suite, the jumpy section, I went over on my right ankle, possibly landing from a jump, but it happened so fast I don’t know exactly what happened. I tried to carry on, but couldn’t put any weight on my foot. I went into the wings and just sat down, kind of in disbelief at what had just happened.

What followed was quite dramatic. People were getting ready to go on stage in my place, but I was determined to do the show that evening come hell or high water- my gran, granddad and cousin were watching and I had really been looking forward to dancing on the massive stage- the biggest of the tour. Bill and Emma, our company manager, were worried about me, and I came very, very close to not going on. It was only after I had proved, by walking and running around the stage, and jumping up and down that I could do it. It actually didn’t hurt that much at that point- I wasn’t lying when I said that I really thought I could do the show. I iced it, took some nurofen and began praying.
At the fifteen minutes call, I was already on stage, having second thoughts. But I knew deep down that I really could do the show and to back out now would not only be cowardly, but also unfair to everyone else who had taken me at my word that I could perform. My partner in Steps to Bach, my first piece of the evening, was a godsend- thanks Danny! I also couldn’t have done it without Ruan and Laurel, who gave me loving vibes and were ready to cover up if I had to go off stage. I didn’t though, I finished the piece and went to get changed for Waltz…….

….which I knew would be much harder, because I’m completely on my own, with no partner and most of the time, no other dancers around me to rely on. It went well, I smiled like crazy to get through it, and despite most of the jumps landing on the bad foot, I didn’t feel any pain while on stage. Coming off for waltz, I went to get changed for Capriol suite…...

……which I was nervous about, because it was the piece in which I damaged my foot. But that also came off, and after I came off stage the biggest feeling of relief rushed over me. I felt as though I had really achieved something, and that I had not ruined the show as I had been afraid of.

However, I was very conscious that I wasn’t ‘letting go’ as I should on stage, and I worried that the performance was not very good and that the audience could tell that the show was not up to standard. I remembered something that Carol Gable said to us a few days before the show at Ilford to the effect of: if you’re on stage then you give one hundred percent. If you can’t do that, then don’t go on. That really struck a chord with me- people have paid hard earned money to come to the theatre and they deserve to be entertained. They don’t deserve to see selfish dancers who are just indulging their own narcissistic desire to be on stage, which is how I felt a little bit last night. But I was assured by Otis (another Ballet Central member who is also injured, whose opinion I value and trust) that although he could tell I was being careful, it was not a bad show. Bill even said I was a trouper!

On coming into school this morning and seeing Anna, I had my suspicion that it was a sprained ankle confirmed. I have been given a crutch to walk and can now be found in most Ballet Central rehearsals, sitting on the floor with a bag of ice on my foot, feeling as useless as a chocolate teapot.
I have never before quite realised how much a part of me dancing is. Now I’m faced with the prospect of three weeks without even taking class, and missing two shows, I feel like half a person and totally without aim or direction.
Sometimes people ask me why I dance. I always reply, why do you breathe? It’s not really a question of wanting to do it, its something necessary to your life. That might sound limiting and a bit sad to most people, but that’s how it is for me.
At the same time as getting out my violins and feeling thoroughly sorry for myself, I also know that this, as an injury, is small fry compared to what some of my friends have gone through, and they have all come through the other side. Three weeks is hardly anything and that is an outside estimate for recovery.
And I also grudgingly admit that when looked at beside such things as global warming, worldwide recession, third world poverty, Aids and general apocalypse, my ankle doesn’t seem so earth shatteringly important as I am making out right now.
Hopefully, by the next time I write, things will be looking up and I will be filled with my usual wit and warmth!!

We're on the road .......... ......

I am getting very excited about the tour so as I was sitting here writing in my journal (we were given a diary were we have to write an analysis of every performance) I decided to write another web log to share my experience with everyone, rather than keeping it in my own book.

- Performing at the Linbury, at the Royal opera house for the Young British Dancer of the Year, has been such a wonderful experience. We did class in one of the studios at the Royal Ballet School; which I must say, is one of the nicest schools I have ever been to.
[I do hope that Ballet Central did well at the fundraising event we did last week so that the new premises will soon be welcoming students in it].

Ballet Central opened the second half of the event, followed by the English National and Royal Ballet schools. Christopher Hampson was pleased with our performance and we really enjoyed it.

This week we started off our tour at Ilford. Doing class on stage has brought me back so many memories of when I was on tour last year with Ballet d’Europe. And I have also realized how badly I want to be doing this career. There is something about theaters that makes me feel at home. I love their smell and changing room bulbs.
I would like to thank Vita Mees and Stephanie Joyce for helping me out with my hair dos during the performance.

The photographer Bill Cooper took us some pictures on the dress rehearsal and I cannot wait to see them. On the other hand Otis – who has got an injury, filmed the show. We watched the performance the following day and were asked to reflect critically on what we saw. I really like this idea, of watching the whole thing, as it gives us the opportunity to see for ourselves, what went wrong and what was right.
We had some very positive comments and even though there is a lot of room for improvement, I was pleased with what I saw.

Oh! I also got a glimpse of the program and cannot wait till I get one. I would like to thank the staff for choosing my pictures. One of my pictures is actually an A4 size. I cannot wait till I show it to my dear ones.

Next week we are off to Crawley and the following week to Cambridge. These are very important performances to me as my mum is going to be watching!!!!!!!

I know this might be a bit late, however I have been wanting to congratulate the 2nd years on their performance at ‘Design for Dance’ where some of them choreographed pieces on other students in their year. Oliver Freeston’s ‘ L’atelier’ was one of my favourite pieces.
I would also like to congratulate Kate Ewing and Clementine Herveux who both got job offers one in Portugal and the other in France respectively.

Being so busy, I had to let go of everything this year and that includes my passion to write poems. However here I would like to share with you and especially with my friends at school a poem which I had written last year:

Something Better:

It is not having everything you desire,
It is about having the things which are necessary to you which is important.

It is not about being the best,
It is about discovering the best in you.

Do not waste time contemplating on other people’s life
Reflect at how you are living yours.

Letting yourself down in difficult moments,
Will not make your situation any better
Instead stop and reflect,
Occupy yourself with something better,
While letting the day go by, and remember,
That a new day is a fresh start.

Count down ...........

Oh my! I always read the latest web logs before writing my new one so as to keep up dating the readers from where I would have last left off and so that I would not repeat same things as Rym and Tom. Today I had to sit here for an hour before starting my diary… wow guys you have fully reported the news.

‘Ballet central preview’:

Cinderella was great! Thank you Nick. I really enjoyed doing it; it is one of my favourite pieces in the whole repertoire. As Phillip Feeney explained on the Preview, this pas de deux is so unique and extraordinary because although it is taken out of its context and performed on its own, one can still understand the narrative side of the piece. I enjoy performing both the complex yet thrilling lifts ad the narrative part. I love letting out my emotions in such a deep piece of work. Christopher Gables has done an amazing job, and it would be a dream comes true if I would ever get to perform the whole ballet.

I will be performing Cinderella again this week for the in house performance with Tom as my prince, and we will be doing it again at Ilford. On William Glassman’s advice, we are approaching every rehearsal as a performance and therefore as a one and only chance to get it right. It works really well, as we are managing all the lifts each time and thus when we will come to doing it on stage, we would not be stressed and concerned about whether or not we will manage the lifts, we can concentrate more on making the storyline as real and understandable as possible.

Another lovable and enjoyable duet is the one in Capriole Suite by Christopher Hampson which I am doing with Daniel. Everyone really likes it, and I enjoy doing it as much as people enjoy watching it. I do not want it to be taken away from me, I want to do it each performance, however this might not be possible due to the changes in the program. Those are the two pieces I will be performing. They are both lyrical and serene, although the ensemble in Capriole Suite is very sharp and sexy in the first movement and joyous in the last one.

I will hopefully be performing other pieces in the future such as my favourite jazz piece - ‘Do you want to ….? ‘and many others which I have learnt. This will enable me to show and exercise my versatility.
Speaking of versatility, next Tuesday I will be doing the contemporary piece - Russell Maliphant’ s ‘Choice’ for the school’s fundraising event and on Saturday I will be doing Capriole suite for the Young British Dancer of the Year.

I would like to congratulate Nick Peak for wining first price in the ‘Central trust Awards’, it was fun, everyone won something. I qualified with the third group and will be spending the reward on point shoes. Point shoes are relatively expensive and we all struggle to make them last as much as possible; that is maybe a maximum of three weeks.
So here I would like to mention my no One Daddy for the hard work and apologize for being such an expensive daughter! And congratulate him for his Birthday!!!!!! He will be growing older next Friday…. God bless you!
Happy mothers day to all the mummies who read these diaries (in Malta Mother’s day is in May, still a long way to go) and GET Well Soon to Otis who twisted his ankle! Take care of yourself, we need you!!!

Brenda Lee Grech photograph

Brenda Lee Grech
© Patrick Baldwin
Courtesy of Ballet Central

Rym...it was gorgeous

I am just writing to congratulate Rym on her web entry. Not only is it written in her usual gloriously articulate manner and incorporate impressive words such as 'visceral' (which i would not understand were they out of context) she also moved me with her Rym-esque speeh about what ifs... and how she is going to miss everyone, it was wonderfully deep and emotional. She also hit the nail on the head with her Feeney comments, it was only the other day the two of us discussed and came to the conclusion that the Cinderella pas de deux is complete escapism. To wrap it all off she even managed to make me look like a donut because I couldn't spell 'Cygnets' which she will no doubt be feeling very pleased with herself about. Rym and I do like a bit of banter and she well and truly got the better of me on that one, however she should take note that a signet ring doesn't have to be big nor gold.

the show must go on!

I have to begin this entry by correcting all of Tom’s mistakes and adding to what he said, mainly because I know it will really annoy him.
I feel I must point out that David Nixon was more concerned with my pirouettes than stray arms flailing around his person, and we open in 12 days, and counting. Also, the boys will shortly be learning the dance of the Cygnets from Swan Lake and not the dance of the big gold rings. In Tom’s defence, he’s actually quite bright and doesn’t normally ignore his spellchecker like that! And he speaks for himself when he says he is excited rather than exhausted- I am both to the extreme but I have absolutely never been happier!
Earlier this month we had the Friends Preview, which went really well. The feedback we got from both staff and the audience was extremely positive, and it really gave me confidence to know that in performance, I can actually bring something to the pieces I perform. We have several events coming up this week- a fundraiser for the school, an in house run through in full costume, and the premiere (arg, hadn’t thought of it like that before!!!!) of Capriol Suite at the final of Young British Dancer of the Year at the Linbury. I am worried about this, because it is big and important and I really mustn’t mess it up. On the other hand, in rehearsal today, I managed both of the tricky pirouettes that I have been continually falling out of. As I fluked the second one, the entire room gasped, and I had a comical look of astonishment on my face until Bill called out, ‘close your mouth, Rym!’
Due to unfortunate injuries, there have had to be some cast changes. Long is recovering from a foot thing that I’m a bit hazy on, (but he has a huge boot on) so will not be doing Bluebird at Ilford. This means that the challenge of all of those entrechat sixes and brise voles will be bravely taken on by Ruan, with Megan Wood as his Princess Florine. They look great together, and the roles suit them both. Due to Otis’s untimely foot thing (again, not too sure on the details) Joe Perou is learning his part in Silver Light. These sorts of twists of fate make me glad that we are trained to pick things up quickly and have a sense of the piece as a whole. The boy’s parts in Silver Light are quite similar for most of it, and because Joe is a fast learner and has a natural affinity for the style, he will make a success of the show, but I have realised that a successful career in the theatre is based on understanding that the important this is the good of the show as a whole, not the ego of the individual.

This year, we are blessed with incredible music to dance to. Tchaikovsky features quite heavily, my own personal favourites being the Neapolitan Dance (which although I am not cast in, I adore listening to) and Waltz of the Flowers, which is pure ballet magic. Parts of Steps to Bach are also intensely beautiful, and there are a certain few bars in Capriol Suite which almost brings tears to the eye. The Jazz piece ‘Do you want to…?’ is gorgeous too. However, no Ballet Central program would be complete without the genius that is Phillip Feeney. I will never understand how, when the entire year is hollow eyed and ready to crawl into a coffin, he manages to play music for class that not only gets us through, but also reminds me why I have such a visceral need to dance. He makes the most painful rond de jambe exercise a deep spiritual experience. The piece he has composed especially for the tour, Sara Matthew’s ‘Silver Light on Water’ (its acronym is SLOW- when you see the piece, the irony will become apparent. Certain sections are in danger of breaking the sound barrier.) is beautiful. We recently heard the final version complete with heartbreaking cello overlaid with Feeney on the piano, and it is breathtaking. As for Cinderella, I strive to match the artistry he gives to his music with my dancing.

An update on my graduation solo- I have now decided to do Phrygia’s solo from Act three of the Bolshoi’s Spartacus. It is an intensely dramatic and lyrical solo with gut wrenching music and I adore it. It is the solo I always dreamt of and now dream of being able to do justice to.
I have what I call my holy trinity of all time favourite ballerinas- artists who I try to get hold of whatever footage I can to watch them and see what they did that made them so great. I think all three would have been wonderful in this solo in different and unique ways: Lynn Seymour would have been passionate, Natalia Makarova tragic and Galina Ulanova otherworldly.
We have all received coaching on our solos from Gillian Revie, who has helped everyone really get under the skin of their roles. For me, she has been amazing- because she was such a dramatic dancer herself, she has really given me the tools to get into the character myself, and helping me not to feel silly and histrionic by investing the movement with truth and conviction. Thankyou so much, Gillian!!

Sometimes I think about how my life would be right now if I had never gone to that first ballet class when I was small. I would probably be at university now, or maybe travelling the world and experiencing new and exotic cultures, like one close non-dancer friend is doing at the moment. I admire and envy the way he is just going wherever the wind takes him and kind of going on a journey of self discovery as well as his physical travels, and I feel a bit inferior until I think about the steps I take every day. I might only get on the Hammersmith and City line from Bow every morning, but by the end of the day, I got a little bit closer to being the dancer I want to be, so its no less valid. So although I feel like I might as well sleep at school because I spend so much time there, and that I don’t even have time to go and buy pointe shoes I am so busy, I know without a doubt I wouldn’t change a thing. When I think about the rewards (and you all know I’m not talking about fame and fortune) that come from a life spent in the theatre, I know I would give anything that is asked of me.

I get a bit flowery and melodramatic if I go on too long, so ill stop before I get on to how much I’m going to miss all my fantastic friends when we leave- there have already been tears from this particular drama queen on that subject…………!

Rym Kechacha and Tom Conlan Photograph

Rym Kechacha and Tom Conlan
© Patrick Baldwin
Courtesy of Ballet Central

Nearly there

First things first, my two most beloved and loyal companions are professionals in waiting. Ruan Crighton has accepted a job offer at Slovakia National Ballet and Daniel Reuben Smith is off on a world tour doing Edward Scissorhands with New Adventures. Needless to say I have been the butt of endless 'do you have a job yet Tom' jokes but through gritted teeth i have to hand it to them, nice one lads. Anyway onto the latest Ballet Central news, the most exciting being that we open in 10 days. As always we are rehearsing madly but the common feeling i think is of excitement rather than exhaustion. Knowing that our first performance is so close has given everyone a bit of a lift and we are all buzzing to get up there and get going.
We are, at this very moment going through a full run in studio two. Having just finished my pas de deux i whisked myself away to make sure I get in (Company manager) Emma Lairds's good books and write my web log before the others. I, personally, am in relatively high spirits. The show seems to be coming together quite nicely (particularly now that we have finally finished Sara Matthews new work) and it was my 19th birthday a few days ago so i have a load of new clothes from sister and girlfriend and a new phone from mum and dad, what more could a boy want (3 guesses at the smart comment Ruan and Dan just made from the other side of the room). David Nixon was in rehearsing his piece this morning and he seemed very pleased with the work everyone had done, although not so pleased when Rym bashed him on the nose doing an arabesque.
Also I have just realised that I have yet to inform you all of our repertoire from New Adventures. We will be performing 'Signets' from Matthew Bourne's Swan Lake which has got all of the guys very excited and all of the girls very jealous (always a bonus). However the sad news is that Mark Baldwin is unable to create his new work on us due to time restrictions and has therefore been replaced by 'Futility' a Sara Matthew choreography originally made for Rambert dance company. More sad news is that one of our valuable company members Otis sprained his ankle yesterday but more good news is that it was the 29th of February yesterday and I am not engaged.
Thats going to have to be it for now, no doubt i have missed tons of stuff out which Rym and Branda can fill you in on.

Speak soon Tom

p.s. Happy Mothers day for tomorrow Mum!