Ballet Central Diary

a sea of troubles- Linbury, Sadler's and the Bard

Why do I always feel like I should have read Tom’s entries before he posts them? He clearly does not own a dictionary (not a crime, neither do I), but then, he doesn’t have the god given innate sense of correct spelling that I was born with.
The LINBURY show went very well. I didn’t dance in the end, which was disappointing, but all part of the rich tapestry of life I suppose! It’s actually quite a dramatic story- it tends to be with me. I have learnt recently that my life can never just run smoothly- there has to be Hollywood melodrama involved somewhere.
Basically, I was intending to dance, and pushed myself hard (too hard) in class to try to get back jumping and on pointe. I had a rehearsal on the Thursday before the show and tried to do the piece. It was an unmitigated disaster, and there I was in tears, feeling not only extremely gutted that I wouldn’t be dancing for the exalted audience that was present, but also that I was letting others down.
It wasn’t a good day.
This injury has taught me so much, about myself and about life. When I was first injured, I came back too quickly and did too much too soon, and this is probably why my body is complaining and taking its time. I’ve learnt that I personally need to have the courage to admit to myself that there is a problem, not to just gloss it over with smiles and jokes. I’d like to thank Anna, our physiotherapist at school, who has been amazingly supportive and helpful throughout this period.
So at Linbury, I was very busy being very helpful. I went round with a camcorder filming footage of class on stage and getting little interviews with everyone. I’m inordinately proud of the footage, I’ve heard with a little editing, it could be up for a best picture Oscar next year.
This week, despite obvious limitations, has been a very good one. NBT have been at Sadler’s Wells doing Hamlet and I’ve taken class with them twice and am going back tomorrow. Even though I’m not on pointe or jumping, I wanted to get the trauma of meeting people over with and also get a chance to watch the company close up and see how they work day to day.
The first day I was a wreck. So nervous and timid- I felt about five years old again. I was so anxious to make a good impression on everyone that I could hardly speak. I needn’t have worried- the company were absolutely lovely. Class was on stage, (which was breathtakingly thrilling for me) and I was really worried about so many things- taking someone’s space at the barre, doing the wrong exercise, falling over, looking stupid etc. I was acutely aware of one of Bill’s favourite sayings ‘you never get a second chance to make a first impression’ I dread to think what first impression I made on the company!! Having said that, if Elizabeth Bennet and Mr Darcy could change their minds about each other, I’m sure all is not lost for me.
I learnt so much in those two short classes. I began to get acquainted with stuff the company do all the time like set warm ups, by keeping my eyes and ears open, thinking on my feet and copying the first person that I saw. Phillip Feeney is playing for their class tomorrow, so I’m very excited.

The Gala (and not much else i'm afraid)...

I will begin my latest addition to the world wide web by painting a picture for you all. Date 19th April 2008, time 8:36pm (roughly), venue Lindbury Theatre Royal Opera House. There I am, standing in the wings dressed as Prince Charming, a Lindbury auditorium packed with some of the most important people in the dance world, a musical genius at the piano waiting to play live music and Brenda is on stage kneeling down, face in hands. I had a little moment, a kind of conversation in my head that went a little bit like this 'TOM, YOU MUPPET, WHATEVER YOU DO DO NOT BALLS THIS UP!!!!'...and then the music started. How i got to that stage i will never really know, i am just a lad from Brighton that loves performing, the director of the Royal Ballet Company was out there for crying out loud, no pressure then she sees Carlos Acosta dance pretty much every day. If I am honest theres not much you can do at that point, a part of me wanted to pick up Chris the stage manager and plonk him on the stage, he could improvise he would be great, however I then realised that this was the whole reason i started dancing and the whole reason i wanted to be a professional. I closed my eyes as i always do when Feeney starts the music, took a deap breath and stepped. This, as they say, was it.

I was well aware that this was probably the biggest and most important show i had ever taken part in. The Ballet Central gala performance is always held at the Opera House and the staff pack no punches in letting us know just how important it is. We had had 4 shows beforehand, Ilford, Crawley, Cambridge and Chelmsford all of which had gone pretty well but we knew that would be no consolation if we mucked this one up.

I had already done Matthew Bourne's Cygnets in the first half which had gone quite well. I was really chuffed to have been chosen to dance it, it's a dream of mine and, even if it never happens again, at least i got wear the costume. It is a short piece and was over quite quickly so i had been buzzing to get back on that stage and do Cinderella.

If I am going to be totally honest with you it ceratinly wasn't the best we have ever done it but the feeling was incredible, the buzz the adrenalin, you just cannot get it anywhere else. The presage at the end was a bit disappointing. I am not sure where it went wrong but it was the only time it had not worked perfectly. Brenda ran , I bent my knees and pushed but she did not get all the way up there straight away. Fortunately the adrenalin took over and i locked my arms but it was a shame, my parents and friends told me they did not notice it was different but we were disappointed, we both felt like we had let people down a bit.

Overall though my two pieces and the show overall went well. The Boss was pleased and Bruce Sansom (director of the school and overall ruler of pretty much everything) spoke to the company and said it had gone very well.

Overall a success then, thats it for now as a Jazz rehearsal beckons, a lot more has happened but i'm banking on Rym and Brenda to elaborate in the next few weeks.

Speak soon

Tom

Goodbye April. Please do not fly away May!

I am on break at the moment and have decided to start my dairy, however I think I will finish writing it tonight. I have so many things to say since I have not written for a while. We are sooo busy, its real fun ( but tiring at the same time), so when I have some free time I have to catch up on so many thins ( this is one of them) and sometimes it takes a bit long- so I do apologize if I have kept you waiting.

First thing I would like to mention is the musical theater week which we are having at the moment. We are working with Patricia Merrin on chorus Line and Phantom of the opera. She has really inspired me with her carrier and we are all enjoying working with her- doing something different from what we are normally used to. Today we have learnt ‘One’ from Chorus Line which we will be assessed on, on Friday. It is a crash course as on can see ( I personally would have loved to have another week of learning routines of that kind), it is quick and maximum concentration is required, but everyone sees to be enjoying what we are doing and full attention is guaranteed. We are also having our singing assessments on Friday and I will be singing ‘If my friends could see me now’ from the Sweet Charity musical!

Along with all of this, we also have another show on Sunday. We will be performing at Bracknell - a stage which is smaller than the Linbury Theater. We do not know yet what we will be performing, however everyone is ready to do any piece they would be called into.
For the last two shows I have performed three numbers – adding Choice with Capriole Suite and Cinderella. I have really enjoyed the last two performances especially dancing on the Linbury stage again. It was a bit stressful that day as we knew that there where important people watching, and by that I do not mean that it was a more important show than any of the other as to me once someone has bought the ticket and has left home to come and watch us, than that person in important, however at the Linbury theater there were lots of people who have an eye for dance and thus we had to make better impressions. This week we have the toughest week we have had so far, as we started early on Monday morning and will be finishing the week Sunday at around 12:30 (when we get back from the theater), then the following day we keep on going till the following Saturday and then comes the day we would all have been waiting for – Sunday, and we have a Bank holiday!!!!!!! That is very generous and we really appreciate it. I think we could all benefit from a day off to work on our dissertations!

I know I have other things that I could have elaborated and spoke of but tonight I am going to do less talking as I have to work a bit more on my dissertation as tomorrow I have a session with tutor Louise.

Last but not least I want to say a Big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my friend Sarah Mansueto and my amazing and adorable baby brother Jacob (he is not a baby any more he’s going to be 15 now, but to me he is still my little brother – not in height though cause he grew taller than me!!!!!!) --- Miss you ;)

what happens when your dreams come true?

So, I did say that by the time I wrote again I would be in a better frame of mind, and I’ve made good on my promise- I have managed it spectacularly.
I’ve known about this for about a week, but I thought I’d wait until April had officially started before I wrote about it here (two entries in one month is more than enough even for the most avid diary reader!)
So, this story has its beginnings just under a year ago, when I saw Northern Ballet Theatre’s production of the Three Musketeers at Sadler’s Wells. It was only a dress rehearsal, but I absolutely loved it, and from then on, my ambition for third year was to get into NBT.
This year, working with David Nixon on Steps to Bach gave me a further insight into what being in the company would be like, and when it came to the audition in late February, I knew that cometh the hour, cometh the dancer.
Last Wednesday, I had a call from the company offering me an apprenticeship contract for next season. I was lost for words, really.
I start on the fourth of August, which happens to be my nineteenth birthday. What a way to celebrate!!!
I love the type of work they do- my favourite ballets are the big dramatic ballets that really say something about the human condition and are total works of theatre. The thought that next season I will be part of that in some way is completely overwhelming.
I’m still not really back dancing; I started back in class quite soon, and my ankle swelled until it hurt to dance, so I’ve stopped again, and hoping to go back next Monday. Chelmsford is out of the question, but I’m quite sure that all being well, I’ll be back well in time for the Linbury. That’s two weeks from now, so the countdown is on!! It’s incredibly frustrating not being able to dance, but I just have focus all my energies on healing, and not on bemoaning my fate!
An incredibly short entry, for me at least!
Maybe there will be more news when I’m actually doing something again……..

And we're off!!!

Having just read the entries recently posted by the two lovely girls with whom I share this internet adventure it struck me just how differently we are all approaching this. Rym will delve deep into her soul to find some inner belief and meaning to this Ballet Central rolleroaster. She will then articulate these wonderful emotions, via a keyboard, onto the world wide web almost poetically. Similarly Brenda will also delve into her inner self but rather than writing poetically... she will actually write a poem. So i thought i would begin by stating that if you are expecting to read a memoir depicting my very reasons for living, or indeed a poem, you are certainly reading the wrong weblog, that though is what makes our little weblog tripod so interesting.

I will start then with opening night, not quite the reason our mothers gave birth to us but certainly the closest it has come so far this year. It actually went very well and the Boss was pretty pleased. I was given relatively good feedback and the 2nd and 1st years, having watched the previous night, had boosted me up a bit with their comments about Cinderella pas de deux.

As a celebration for how well the first show had gone, although i'm not going to lie we would have done it anyway, we all decided to have a fancy dress party. However this was no normal fancy dress party. In honour of Rachel (lovely Ballet Central member)having been alive for 19 years everyone had to dress up as something beginning with the letter R. I went as the Rat Pack, not all three of them because that would have looked silly, but just Frank. Some of the more creative people were Dan who was a Roman but who liked to tell everyone he was a Roman God, James in 2nd year who was the spitting image of the scary girl from 'The Ring' and Ruan who was simply 'Rude' (his 10 pound pants with certain anatomical parts attached to them went down a treat). It was all certainly a laugh although it is important to mention that there was absolutely no alcohol, it finished at 10 on the dot and boys and girls were segregated throughout (many thanks to Beth who spent all her time devoted to enforcing all of those rules dressed rather fittingly as a Royal Marine).

When we first heard the repertoire we would be getting for our tour there was certainly much excitement with the massive names that we would be working with. For me personally there was none more so than Matthew Bourne and a couple of days after opening night we finally started learning the big gold ring dance from his 'Swan Lake' (for those of you who are not regulars on the Ballet Central weblog that is the dance of the Cygnets). Scott Ambler (Assistant Director at New Adventures), with a quik cameo from Matthew, came into school for a 6 hours over three days to get us going and i can safely say on behalf of all of the lads it was fantastic. It has been a dream for a few of us to get to dance Bourne's Swan Lake and Scott was great, having a laugh and joke but getting things done very quickly, we had pretty much learned the whole dance in the first two hours. We are not quite sure when that will go on stage but i would guess probably Chelmsford which is the show after next... cant wait.

Perhaps the most exciting thing that has happened to me since i last wrote my entry was the Crawley performance. I am from Brighton and, Crawley being the furthest south we go, all of my friends and faily came. A total of 100 people turned up to see me which was incredible considering the auditorium held 800. I was also really chuffed because I was dancing my two favourite pieces on the tour, 'Cinderella' and the Jazz number 'Do you want to...?'. I start Cinderella with a long, slow walk from the wings and i don't think time has ever gone so slowly, however once i knelt down beside Brenda that was it, the rest is a blur, all i can remember thinking is 's*** i haven't breathed for at least 10 seconds, breathe man breathe' as i was lifting Brenda in the presage at the end. I was really pleased with how it went considering i was probably the most nervous i had ever been and the completely unbiased audience for some stange reason gave the two pieces a humungous applause, cheers mum!

That is all the writing i can do for now, a jog and some stretching is certainly needed although it will undoubtably have to follow an easter egg and a quick kick around with a mate considering i have only one day break until the end of July. Its all fun and games!

speak soon

Tom

Fire, Brimstone and other happenings on tour...

I will apologise in advance for the solemn tone (and length!) of this diary entry. Today, life is looking a little bleaker that it did a few weeks ago.
It all began at Ilford on Tuesday 11th March, the day of the dress rehearsal for staff and first and second year students. It went well, we were nervous because we knew that this was one of the most critical audiences we would ever face, but it went well and we were in a good place to then take it up several notches for the first show the following night.
Earlier that morning, while walking to the theatre, I tripped over another dancer’s suitcase and fell over in the road. It was very amusing to everyone present, but began to be less amusing for me personally when I realised the pain I was in- as I fell, I smacked my kneecaps on the concrete. By Wednesday (which had to be the most important show of my life so far!!!) my right knee was quite swollen and sore, but by keeping it moving and warm, I kept it feeling ok to perform.
And it went really well! My mum was there, so I was glad to know there was someone rooting for me in the audience. Ashley Page was also there with Patricia Hines, who set Waltz on us, and they both seemed really pleased with the way it looked and all the work we have done on it.
By the time we came to do the get out though, the wonderful effects of adrenaline had worn off and I was limping around like Long John Silver. The next day I hobbled into school and saw our physiotherapist, Anna. She told me the shock from the fall had made the bursar under my knee swell up and it was irritating all the cartilage and general stuff I don’t know the names of around my knee.
I was off class for three days. Which I was raging about at the time; but now realise how lucky I was in comparison to what was to come…….
Monday morning, I came back to class, all bright and fresh, enjoying every hitherto forbidden movement of my body and ready to really go for everything. My knee felt much better, not completely one hundred percent, but certainly well enough to perform.
We had to meet at school on Wednesday morning at the crack of dawn to catch to coach to Crawley. After doing the get in, and taking class on stage, we had a full run through of the show, to get used to the new space. In the final movement of Capriol Suite, the jumpy section, I went over on my right ankle, possibly landing from a jump, but it happened so fast I don’t know exactly what happened. I tried to carry on, but couldn’t put any weight on my foot. I went into the wings and just sat down, kind of in disbelief at what had just happened.

We're on the road .......... ......

I am getting very excited about the tour so as I was sitting here writing in my journal (we were given a diary were we have to write an analysis of every performance) I decided to write another web log to share my experience with everyone, rather than keeping it in my own book.

- Performing at the Linbury, at the Royal opera house for the Young British Dancer of the Year, has been such a wonderful experience. We did class in one of the studios at the Royal Ballet School; which I must say, is one of the nicest schools I have ever been to.
[I do hope that Ballet Central did well at the fundraising event we did last week so that the new premises will soon be welcoming students in it].

Ballet Central opened the second half of the event, followed by the English National and Royal Ballet schools. Christopher Hampson was pleased with our performance and we really enjoyed it.

This week we started off our tour at Ilford. Doing class on stage has brought me back so many memories of when I was on tour last year with Ballet d’Europe. And I have also realized how badly I want to be doing this career. There is something about theaters that makes me feel at home. I love their smell and changing room bulbs.
I would like to thank Vita Mees and Stephanie Joyce for helping me out with my hair dos during the performance.

The photographer Bill Cooper took us some pictures on the dress rehearsal and I cannot wait to see them. On the other hand Otis – who has got an injury, filmed the show. We watched the performance the following day and were asked to reflect critically on what we saw. I really like this idea, of watching the whole thing, as it gives us the opportunity to see for ourselves, what went wrong and what was right.
We had some very positive comments and even though there is a lot of room for improvement, I was pleased with what I saw.

Oh! I also got a glimpse of the program and cannot wait till I get one. I would like to thank the staff for choosing my pictures. One of my pictures is actually an A4 size. I cannot wait till I show it to my dear ones.

Next week we are off to Crawley and the following week to Cambridge. These are very important performances to me as my mum is going to be watching!!!!!!!

I know this might be a bit late, however I have been wanting to congratulate the 2nd years on their performance at ‘Design for Dance’ where some of them choreographed pieces on other students in their year. Oliver Freeston’s ‘ L’atelier’ was one of my favourite pieces.
I would also like to congratulate Kate Ewing and Clementine Herveux who both got job offers one in Portugal and the other in France respectively.

Being so busy, I had to let go of everything this year and that includes my passion to write poems. However here I would like to share with you and especially with my friends at school a poem which I had written last year:

Something Better:

It is not having everything you desire,
It is about having the things which are necessary to you which is important.

It is not about being the best,
It is about discovering the best in you.

Do not waste time contemplating on other people’s life
Reflect at how you are living yours.

Letting yourself down in difficult moments,
Will not make your situation any better
Instead stop and reflect,
Occupy yourself with something better,
While letting the day go by, and remember,
That a new day is a fresh start.