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Josephine Jewkes,
Swansong Diary Part 2 | |||||||
Josephine Jewkes, dancer with Rambert and formerly an ENB Principal, writes each month on the "dancing life". Here is a link to the previous column in the series.Sunday 24 August - Following up the Pierrot element in Swansong led me to dig out a video of Marcel Marceau. His loveable, heartcatching Bip inspires me, as do his words about each character needing to have its own distinctive "silhouette". Interesting ... Clips of Gene Kelly's toothy showbiz tapping egg me on to more incisive movements in the "Tea for Two" section. A long conversation with my coach, Maria Fay, yields golden nuggets: "a small fry".... "an ignorant messenger" ... " a reluctant hero". That's it. Got it in one. Tuesday 26 August - After having had no rehearsal for over a week, I have 15 minutes to try the solos onstage in the dreaded diagonal of light. I had expected to be completely dazzled by it, but in fact the size of the lovely big Manchester Palace stage gives me distance enough to get my bearings. Even so, the first time onstage in a different space is disorientating, giving one the feeling of having borrowed the body of someone else even less talented than oneself. An excellent Swansong performance this evening by Didy Veldman makes me thoughtful: she has two more shows, one on Wednesday, one on Thursday. A good show is almost more difficult to follow than a bad one especially as soon afterwards as the next day. One is left wondering how to 'top it'. Trying to reproduce last night's formula is definitely a no-no, as it becomes simply that: a formula. A bad show on the other hand fires you up. After the inevitable "how could I have done that?" recriminations, one is usually jolted out of any complacency into a more alert and sensitive performance. "Once you've been really bad in a movie there's a kind of fearlessness you develop" (Jack Nicholson). Serious loss of nerve (experienced by me thrice in my 14 professional years) is tackled by getting onstage again the next day with the sympathy and understanding of your friends and colleagues. My partner Tim Almaas has rescued me on at least two of those occasions, otherwise I may well not be here now. Wednesday 27 - Rehearsed myself in Swansong behind the stage during another rehearsal. I like to so this as it gives me the freedom to experiment at my own pace, finding the minute but vital co-ordinations which make the steps easier and more natural to perform. I also experimented with make-up today; smudging a bruise of dark greasepaint under my dark eyes helps to hint at the Pierrot element which is so important to Chris Bruce's vision of the piece. 31 August - Arrived home from Manchester at about 3 am. The dreadful news about Princess Diana filtered through to me later on in the day when I awoke. Apart from everything else it is a great loss to the ballet world and to ENB, my old company, as she was their charming and enthusiastic patron. 2 September - Back to the studios to rehearse Airs, Greymatter and, of course, Swansong. 4 September - Finally a breakthrough. Due to some generous suggestions from fellow apprentice-Victim, Maria Sardon Urtiaga, I create a tight, wrenching knot in my solar plexus and suddenly every reaching-out gesture in that first crucial solo in the diagonal of light has a deep conflict of inner tension. Suddenly Brian Keenan's musing on captive wild animals becoming impotent, listless and introverted holds the key for my interpretation of this solo. A sort of hollow-eyed hopelessness mixed with impotent rage. In Tea for Two I catch the manic, panicked grin of someone dancing for their life as I recall a remark about chimpanzees' grinning being a gesture of fear. My imagined noble principled heroine is being replaced by someone much closer to reality! Today my debut date of Thursday 18 September is confirmed and I 'phone around my family and friends for support on this special day. 'Rent a claque' will be out in force. 8 September - Pain in my hip. 10 September - More pain in my hip forces me to abandon the barre halfway through, cancel my rehearsals and head off to the physiotherapist. By the end of the day I can barely walk. At this point my "Diary of Swansong Preparation" turns into the grimly-familiar "Diary of an Invalid" and my debut vanishes in a puff of smoke. 24 September - After 18 days of rest, physiotherapy and strong anti-inflammatory pills, and after various tentative diagnoses have been advanced by doctors, physiotherapists and osteopaths (calcification of the joint, stress fracture of the femur, torn ligament, torn muscle) it is decided to refer me to an orthopaedic surgeon and so all I can do is wait until my appointment of 30 September. Ample time to contemplate the prospect of imminent retirement. 25 September - By chance I meet a colleague of mine from ENB. Four years ago she joined as a sparkling and talented teenager and now she is taking extended sick leave for psychological reasons; another extremely talented and sensitive soloist has been absent for nearly a year, and we discuss a third dancer - touched by a divine spark I believe - who has been suffering deeply in mental institutions for even longer than that. There does seem to be a vicious circle in the ballet world (as opposed to the dance world) whereby ex-dancers move up to teaching posts and directorships and unthinkingly perpetuate the same regimented approach to their artists as they were subjected to in their careers. With even the ARMY projecting a more caring/sharing 90's attitude, perhaps it is time for a change? My injury has given me time out to read around the topical theme of education and it is here that I believe the impetus for change must come. We must educate the up and coming teachers whose pupils will become the next generation of dancers, teachers, directors and choreographers. Books by Joan Brady: "Little Girls in Pretty Boxes" and "Prologue - an Unconventional Life" describe a dismally familiar attitude to training youngsters. The way forward in indicated by two powerful books : Dan Millman's "The Inner Athlete" (Stillpoint Publishing) draws on his experience as a sports' coach and his knowledge of Eastern philosophies. The vital integration of mind, body and spirit, so necessary to the development of the true artist, is tackled in Maria Fay's ground-breaking book "Mind over Body" (A & C Black) which tackles for the first time the psychological aspect of educating dancers ("training" is for dogs). I know that Maria Fay's methods work because she has been my coach for the past fifteen years! It is in the air: education is the buzzword of our times. As in our social system and our schools, so in our ballet schools. What are we waiting for? | ||||||||
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