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Here is a link to the previous column in the series.
11th June 1999
Back to Blighty!
Hong Kong The first performances in Hong Kong went smoothly enough, the only oddity is that the audience seemed to sit on their hands until all four acts were over at which point they would remind us that they were still there with lots of applause. I felt sorry for the people in the front rows - which were only a few feet from the edge of the stage. Not only were they too close to the action, but by the time I'd finished my double tour to the knee and sprayed at least two rows with sweat they must have felt very much part of the action as well. Behind the scenes there were a few dramas going on such as the latex used for the acrobats skull-caps not sticking because of the humidity, which also affected surgical dressings for cuts and grazes which apart from losing their stickiness, had also expanded due to the heat. There was also the case of Tim Wilde (corps de ballet) grazing the top of his foot from kneeling in Act One, ending up in hospital with a case of septicaemia. Apart from this there were some excellent performances given (well I enjoyed them - and at this stage that's all that matters). We were in Hong Kong for a total of eight days before we flew to Australia to what was to be the main stint of the tour. This flight didn't go without its hitches: the pilot who was to fly us was ill and this was a chartered flight, so no pilot - no fly! Step in Cathay Pacific, who crammed us onto an already over-booked flight to Sydney. Not the smoothest of journeys, but what the hell, at the end of it we arrived in OZ after eight hours of flying over expansive red deserts.
Sydney We performed at the Entertainment Centre, again a huge building but with slightly better accommodation for all the various departments. The set was different to Hong Kong. Much bigger, comprising stairways, balconies, a platform hidden behind a gauze for the orchestra, all topped off with water lapping the edge of the stage. I have to come clean and say that once it was all lit, swamped with dry ice and all the swans doing their Buzby Berkeley bit, it was the campest thing I'd seen in a long time. The technical rehearsal was taken up with re-working entrances and exits using the stairs and fire exits (glamorous isn't it?) At the dress rehearsal there was a problem with the linoleum: it was starting to get very slippy. By the time we got to the second performance the company had made phone calls to Jayne Torvill (she ignored them by the way) and Robin Cousins to come and appear in Derek Deane's spectacular staging of Swan Lake - The Holiday on Ice Experience. I do not exaggerate: well maybe a little; it became a serious problem. Under certain lights the offending slippy patches glowed a haunting neon blue, and the number of dancers that didn't go arse over tit at some point in the performance you could count on a thing that you can only count to one on. Everything and everyone got the blame, from the type of cleaning fluid used to clean the carpets back stage, to dancers using too much resin on their shoes (something which has been done since Pavlova was a girl, but then it's easy to blame the dead). It all got sorted out with the stage being washed with a cleaning fluid solution (hello?) and finally a new linoleum! I went on lots of trips which I won't bore you with (just my family), some taking me outside the city to places with blue lagoons and others that were organised for us. One of the school excursions was to Sydney Zoo: when in Oz - see a kangaroo. It turned out to be another camcorder moment. Thomas (Edur) was walking past a lake that had amongst other things two black swans swimming around on it. He just couldn't resist it and proceeded to try and coax the swan over with a half-hearted black swan pas de deux. Well, as in the ballet, how could the swan resist, and over she glided (this all with much egging on by me, selfishly thinking of archive filming). Once the swan reached the edge of the lake Tom graciously bowed to his new Swan Queen and she looked him in the eyes, gently rose from the water - and bit him. I've contacted Mr Beadle and negotiations are underway. All said and done, I enjoyed Sydney.
Melbourne Swan Lake was housed in the same complex that hosts the Australian Tennis Open. It seats nine thousand people and in my opinion was the best venue we played. The backstage area was un-confusing and the TV in the Green Room showed the Simpsons at 6pm every night. The problem of the linoleum had been put right by now and the production had really settled in. Just as in the previous two cities, the two days before opening night were taken up with technical and dress rehearsals. However, the number of run-throughs and performances was starting to take its toll, not just with the Ladies - as one would expect, with having to swan around so much - but the Gents were also succumbing to various flu's and bugs. The casting board was starting to look like a wall of graffiti, so some debuts were brought forward. The way I think of it, though, is: if you're doing Swan Lake for the next two months, then variety is an absolute necessity. Although the Arena was only a couple of tram rides from the centre of town I didn't really get time to get outside the city. What I did see of Melbourne I found charming, with its trams and long boulevards. I think one of my favourite places was the South Bank. It's like London's South Bank, only it works . Teeming with cafés overlooking the Yarra River and behind it the Theatre, Art Gallery, Australian Ballet HQ and museums, always busy and very accessible (I sound like Judith Chalmers). My other favourite moment was going to see Sharon and John's house, where I ate and gossiped for a good couple of hours. They are Grandparents now - CONGRATULATIONS - to a very blonde, blue-eyed cutie called Alexander (he can count to 28, or so I'm told) I only see them once every two years when the moon is waning in the first quarter of seasonal transgression. So a big HELLO! They fed me beer at 1pm and so I used it as a warm-up to the Champagne reception that the Australian ballet were holding for us that evening. The reception was a strange experience. I thought, what a good opportunity it would be to meet different people and - no way! I went to school with most of them, it was like being on This Was Your Life! I was sad to say Goodbye to Melbourne but excited to get back to the tour and see what the next city had in store for us … a mistake I still regret to this day… Aselaide
Some facts about Adelaide:
Brisbane The musical cue for us to go sounded and on we walked at completely the wrong end of the arena. After a frantic turnabout and exit we sprinted to fire-door 56 and entered the arena red-faced and at least 32 bars late. The Master of Ceremonies looked a tad confused as he suddenly had to gesture to the Mazurka, Spanish and Neapolitan Couples all at once. Some dancers showed even more obvious signs of balletic exhaustion by getting into a plane and then jumping out at 10,000 ft, free-falling to 5000 ft, chickening out of the suicide attempt and opting for the parachute. A total of 9 swans really flew that day at Brisbane's skydiving centre. To be honest I can't really tell you what the performances were like in Brisbane: by then I frankly couldn't have cared less. All I know is that I enjoyed dancing my bits and eating Mud Crab at the local fish restaurant, going to see the Cirque du Soleil and staying up all night before we left for the UK to savour every last moment of this continent.
London
Swindon
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