Josephine Jewkes, “Changing Landscapes...”
	Josephine Jewkes, dancer with Rambert and formerly an ENB Principal, writes each month on the "dancing life". Link to the previous column Link to later column. March 99 The future is taking shape and does not include any dance-related activities. I visited Kingston University on 9 March with a portfolio of my sketches and various house renovations and was offered a place there on the spot. The course director used to live next door to a dancer from New York City Ballet and was gratifyingly aware of the discipline and capacity for hard work which goes with the profession and so I will begin my 3 year BA in Landscape Architecture in September. We move house on 19 April which will stabilise our precarious finances but the prospect of three years of penurious student-hood is not encouraging! Notwithstanding these upheavals, since I decided not to attempt any further comebacks I feel only huge RELIEF. I am relieved not to have to confront my own shortcomings day after day in the relentless mirror. My physique and fragmented education meant that I was always very far short of this (unattainable) perfection and spent most of the time obsessed and depressed. Right now, the negative aspects of dancing life are what press forward to the front of my memory and obscure the moments of success and happiness which I certainly experienced. I look back with a sort of wonder at the tunnel vision which I had to have in order to bend my body to my will. Will-power played a very considerable part in my career! It is quite likely that this drive for perfection will surface in my new career but at least it will be my WORK and not my whole SELF which will be under scrutiny. The contrast between my former and future careers is interesting: I am looking forward to creating landscapes which will change and grow constantly and which will be enjoyed by many people for a long time. I will be able to work from home - I am keen to be my own boss as as possible. NO MORE CAST LISTS FROM HELL! The family question is still pending. But I really prefer to make a start on the new life before making a new life.
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