So you want to dance: Part 24 of series Postings discussion This link allows you to see others thoughts on this piece and contribute to the debate yourself if you want. We look to guarantee this link for a number of years, though after 3-6 months the page may be closed to further additions. Ballet.co's Doing Dance forum reviews by Anjuli Bai

The partner-to-be is probably thinking the same thing. We assume we have to be perfect before someone would want to be our dance partner. It’s not about love and marriage – just a 90 minute pas de deux class. It’s called “class” because everyone in there is a student.

That’s true. But, what do I do?

There are some things to think about before class. If you are coming from a regular ballet class and then into the PDD class (which is generally the case since everyone should be warmed up), be sure to take a fresh towel with you – in addition to your regular ballet class towel, and go into the change room (if time permits) and give yourself a nice wipe up. It’s also a good idea to have a fresh leotard to change into – one that is dry. It also shouldn’t be slippery.

Slippery?

Yes, avoid those satiny slick fabrics – stick with cotton or something that will provide friction for his hands. Once your partner’s hands get sweaty they can really slip and slide on leotards made of slick finishes and it will be hard for him to get a grip on your waist – with potentially disastrous consequences. (Been there, done that!)

I don’t like the sound of “disastrous consequences.”

Well, maybe “ridiculous” is a better word. I had the experience once of standing in fifth position directly in front of my partner, hands over my head (en haut), and my partner was supposed to put his hands on my waist and lift me up over his head. However, I was wearing a slick leotard (I was a neophyte obviously) and his hands were sweaty as was my leotard. When he went to lift me his hands slid up from my waist, over my rib cage, over a bump (or two), across my armpits and finally stopped at my arms! Needless to say I didn’t get lifted far off the ground and both of us would have died from embarrassment if we hadn’t been convulsed in laughter.

So, the lesson is: no slick leotards. And no fancy ones – no zippers, buttons, or anything else that can scratch hands and faces.

Gotcha. What else?

When in close proximity to another person try to avoid any kind of lotion, after shave or deodorant that has a scent. Some people really do have a problem with manufactured scents. So, try to find a deodorant which doesn’t have a scent. Don’t eat a meal with garlic or onions either – that can last quite a long while on the breath. A breath mint might be nice in between classes.

Now check the rest of your equipment.

Like?

Your pointe shoes and/or slippers. You don’t want to spend the class with shoes that have problems because you will be wasting your partner’s time as well as your own. Same for hair – make sure it’s tidy with no hairpins coming out which can be quite dangerous. A man with long hair should also see to it that it is confined and not flying around to the annoyance of his partner. Flying hair also sprays sweat – ick. Keep your towel handy for intermittent wipe ups.

And don’t be a jewelry shop.

I do wear a couple of rings.

Leave it all at home. Rings can scratch as your hands grasp one another (usually half in panic when you are a beginner). No earrings either – or any other ring hanging from the body. All can be dangerous.

Long fingernails are a problem – another scratch potential.

I am a bit self-conscious in class anyway, and now this. Suppose I am too heavy?

If you are too heavy your teacher wouldn’t be allowing you to do this.

Is there a limit to – an upper level of weight? I just don’t want to burden anyone.

Everyone (especially the females) in class assumes she’s too heavy. But it’s not about absolute weight, but how that weight is lifted. A woman with a strong plié can be a good deal easier to lift than a woman half her size with no concept of a plié.

Really?

Absolutely! I’m just dying to tell you a story about this…..

You’re the one typing here…..

I was in an intermediate PDD class. I was the oldest in the class, as well as the tallest. Most all of the other females were teens with these teeny tiny bodies (it was hard to imagine that they had all the same parts inside as the rest of humanity like a liver, spleen, pancreas, etc.). So there I am – slender but old and tall and not teeny tiny.

I assumed as we lined up every day and the teacher assigned partners that whichever guy got to dance with me was probably feeling he had gotten the hardest of the bunch to lift – the absolutely bottom of the barrel. I convinced myself of this and it really affected me. I felt so sorry for the guys who got assigned to me.

Well, one day after PDD class the guys were sitting in the dancers’ lounge having lunch before their men’s class. I came out of the women’s changing room and passed through the lounge on my way home. I said goodbye to the guys and one of them made a comment to effect of how much he enjoyed partnering me.

I was stunned. I couldn’t believe what my ears were hearing. So, I sat down and had a very frank discussion with the men. I told the guys how self conscious I was about not being teeny tiny like most of the rest of the females in the class and how much I worried about being such a “burden” to whomever had the bad luck to get assigned to dancing with me.

It was their turn to be stunned. They explained that not being teeny tiny gave my partner something to grab onto when I was to be lifted. They told me how much they appreciated my deep and strong plié. ( I had really worked at this since I was trying so hard to help my partner out.)

So, you can see how wrong our perceptions of ourselves can be! We spend a lot of time worrying about things that are either untrue, or will never happen.

I do worry about things and I want it to be enjoyable both for me and my partner.

There are some protocols in PDD class that do help to make it an enjoyable experience. Always greet whoever is assigned to you with a smile. A friendly smile. He’s probably as concerned as you are. Lifting a woman high into the air, giving her support – is a huge responsibility.

If something is not going right – discuss it. Don’t critique your partner. Put your concerns in the form of a question either to him, and if that doesn’t solve it, to your teacher. Don’t be afraid to politely voice concerns. Not only is this a learning dance experience, it’s also about safety – so don’t hesitate.

Be positive in your attitude – that will rub off.

And when the class is over make a point of turning to your partner and thanking him/her for dancing with you. And smile when you say that.

Good luck!

I’m gonna need it…..

Be positive.

I am!