So you want to dance: Part 4 of series Part 6 of series Postings discussion This link allows you to see others thoughts on this piece and contribute to the debate yourself if you want. We look to guarantee this link for a number of years, though after 3-6 months the page may be closed to further additions. Ballet.co's Doing Dance forum reviews by Anjuli Bai

No! No! No! Not true at all! They are a rather simple lot. Believe me, I have been studying them for years. Easily pleased! If you come to class on time (even a few minutes early), and properly attired for work, with your hair tidily confined, you are already on the road to successfully navigating the runnels to your teacher's heart. It is surprising how many students never master these simple rules; be on time and dressed to dance. Of course, there are emergencies that might make one late, but some students have an emergency every week. If you do just these two things you are already demonstrating consistency of purpose. Very important!

How do I know what, when or how to ask a question?

This is an important consideration. Questions can either illuminate what the teacher is saying, or can be disruptive. A good rule is make the question germane. If the teacher is talking about how to do a tendu, it's not a particularly good time to ask about how to audition for the local road show. (Although that's a good question, just not at that particular moment.) There are students who use questions to delay the class from having to do a particularly devious exercise (I know, having done this myself), or to distract the class from the work at hand. Germane-ness is important.

How to ask a question is vital. Here is one way of phrasing it I do not recommend:

"The popular teacher down the street, you know, the one who has a lot more students that you have, says that your method of preparing for a pirouette is all wrong. Is this true"?

Here's another way to phrase it:

"The method you are teaching to prepare for a pirouette is new to me. I would like to understand it better. May I ask you about it?"

You will get a lot better response from the second approach. Sometimes when we ask questions we may be putting out a dual message: a true request for help, or a manner of contesting the teacher's opinion. No one likes to be contested, especially in front of a class.

Once I had a teacher who was the perfect forbidding curmudgeon. She had presented a method for accomplishing certain technical problems quite differently than I had heretofore come across. I debated with myself for weeks as to how to approach her. Finally, I found a "good" time and said something like this:

"I want you to know that I am enjoying your classes. You present some unique ways to accomplish some very difficult technical areas, which I feel could really help me. Would it be possible for me to ask you to explain it a bit more. I would love to understand your thinking on this." From then on, every time she looked at me, she smiled (in a curmudgeonly way, of course).

So, if you want help, ask for help. "I need your help" is a phrase that few people (especially teachers) can resist. And, NEVER use certain four letter words!

Four letter words? Like bad words? Oh, I would NEVER use such language!

These four letter words are a bit different than the ones generally thought of as "bad language" but they are total disasters in ballet class. Number one in that category begins with "C" (even now I hesitate to type it!)…..and is…"Can't." As in: "I can't do that step." It's known as the unutterable "C" word. The sound of that word sends the ballet teacher's blood pressure into the stratosphere. Her eyes film over with red. Her heart pounds. The proper response is another four letter word known as the "W" word - "Work!" As in: "I will work on that step." Ballet teachers are turned on by the "W" word.

Always let the teacher know you value her corrections with a "thank you," and a response that tells her you will work on it. She knows that results will not be instantaneous, she knows it takes time. And, she loves to hear that you will take her help, use it and work on it. (We sigh with pleasure as our blood pressure goes down. This is the kind of student we dream about.)

The "C" word is negative for another reason, too. You are indicating to yourself that you are starting from a negative position, rather than a positive position. The "W" word indicates hope for a positive outcome. If you evince negative attitudes, why should the teacher be positive about you?

Suppose I have a question that is not "germane"?

If you are unsure, approach the teacher quietly after (or before) class. In some schools even this is a busy time for the teacher, so request a quiet time to talk and ask questions. Again, ask for her help. A good teacher won't be able to resist.

The teacher seems to be helping other students, but not me, should I mention this?

Actually, if she is helping others, she is also helping you. Always pay attention to the comments she makes about others and apply them to yourself, and that will double your progress. I bet, that if she sees you are serious, working hard, listening, applying what she is says, you will get her attention in due course. Sometimes the teacher doesn't actively interact with certain students because she feels that they might not be ready to apply a particular technical nuance. Or, there are some students who let the teacher know, even subliminally, that they want to be left alone. Some students are disturbed when they receive attention. If you are not one of these, asking for her help will let her know you welcome her attentions.

Is it ever proper to give the teacher a gift?

Sometimes it is. You can be as innovative as you like. Gift cards to the most expensive shop in town. Your bankcard number so she can make withdrawals, is a nice touch. Birthday cakes, but forget about the candles. If you put too many candles on the cake it would be an unmitigated disaster, (this only works once a year so don't do it too often).

Seriously..... people often ask if it is appropriate to give a gift. A small personal gift at an appropriate time (like Christmas) is not amiss. It's not to garner her goodwill, only a way to say "thank you." You might check first with the receptionist or someone else in the studio as some teachers prefer no gifts at all for any reason. One of the nicest gifts I ever received was a splendid loaf of bread the student had baked. She put a lot of love into that loaf.

But an even simpler gift, and one that is easy to do, once in a while after class say "thank you, I enjoyed the class." It will make her heart dance.